Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
