The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
