the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
