he puts the penis in happiness.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
