He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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