Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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