I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
