Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
