oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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