I just cut my nipple shaving
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
