Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
