Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my sisters under your porch take her home
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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