Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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