It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
