i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
