Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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