so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We don't watch enough power rangers
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
