This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
