Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
