Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
