If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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