I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm both gender and math confused
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
