I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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