dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
