**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
