sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
