very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
