Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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