One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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