absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize