I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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