i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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