Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Welp...herpes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
