so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
