My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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