Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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