I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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