There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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