Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(503): View more from Oregon

he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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(636): View more from Missouri

I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel really sorry for my toilet right now

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