yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
id be glad to
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
