We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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