come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
