i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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