Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
