Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
