i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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