This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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