Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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