apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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