I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize