why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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