we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
