all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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