he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
