I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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