Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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