ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize