I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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