Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize