please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize