Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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