Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
